you know what i miss?

I miss the carefree days of summer, where I didn't have homework or really anything to do. Where if I wanted to, I could spend the whole day with my then-boyfriend. Where my only homework was to read a book and answer questions on it, and that could be put off til the last day. I didn't care. I was happy. I got enough sleep. I looked somewhat pretty on most days. Summer school was complete bullshit, and it just gave me some credits to throw in. And on the days when I did get stressed from theater and my family, I could walk over to my friends' houses or call my boyfriend and have him take me somewhere. It was a great part of my life.

Now it's November. I've got SAT and shows every weekend, along with the shitloads of homework I still need to do. I barely see my friends because they're busy with everything they have to deal with too.

And I don't have that boyfriend anymore. And I miss him. A lot. And I guess I'm supposed to move on and shit, but I just can't. It's only been like a week. I'm not ready to be "just friends" and kiss a new boy. I just want him back.

Everything's just...falling apart.

Oh, and my nonweighted GPA is a 3.5, and my highest practice test score has been an 1850. I'm just fucked.