a letter to my brother.

Dear Isaak,

I was watching My Sister's Keeper earlier. I know, strange movie choice for me. Anyway, the main character's family was kinda effed up in a way that it was similar to ours, but not completely. The oldest son is Jesse - the neglected one. Next is Kate - the one with cancer. Lastly is Anna - the one whose body parts are used to save Kate. You can probably tell who you and I would be, huh?

Anyway, the movie keeps displaying flashbacks of times when it was just Jesse, Kate, and their parents. When they realize Kate is sick, the parents pay attention to Kate and begin to neglect Jesse, simply because her life is at stake and he's the child that'll live a longer, healthier life.

Remember when we were little, and mom and dad found out I had hypertelorism? Did they neglect you? The majority of my childhood is made up of getting shots and going to the hospital and prepping for surgery and having surgery and recovering from surgery. And I'm still gonna have more surgeries in years to come, just because I'm that messed up. I'm a medical basket case, and you're completely normal.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm sorry for acting like an attention whore. Every time you did something great - getting the lead in the school play - or were written about in the newspaper, I felt like it was something I had to one up. Like I was neglected and you were the star. All this time, I never realized that I'd taken up the majority of summer vacations having surgery.

I remember how mom and dad would never yell at me or hurt me. Remember when Beni accidentally threw a wiffle ball at my face, and mom carried me to my remember to dress my "wounds" and you and Beni were both grounded? I remember. It wasn't your fault. It's because mom and dad have some stupid idea that I'm fragile, and that I can't take more than a poke.

I'm sorry for letting them treat you like you weren't there. I know how you feel now.

Your sister,
Tessa