you don't wanna be left behind.

I don't like this weird thing called "growing up." Nobody does. Well, nobody but those kids who drink beer all day and have sex with they're boyfriends when they're only 16. They're closer to 12 than 21, 12 being the end of childhood and 21 being the start of true adult life (drinking age). 18 is still a child-like age. How do I know? My older brother is 18, and he still gets excited about new Spongebob episodes.

He graduates tomorrow. From high school, I mean. My mom's already freaking out. Part of me is really excited, cause when he leaves, my younger brother and I are turning my older brother's room into a video game lounge. I also get his closet and his car. Sweet deal, right? But with my brother gone, I'm gonna get picked on. Teased. Even if we weren't really friends, he was this protective barrier from the mean people.

He made friends with the weirdest people, the ones who look like bullies. Two were in my chem class. But they never insulted me cause they knew that I was his little sister. He always protected me. Back in elementary school, this guy choked me in the lunch line, claiming he was hugging me. My older brother stepped in and told on the guy (cause that was the tough thing to do if you were about 8, I guess).

After my surgery when I was 6, my little brother was afraid to look at me. I didn't go out of my house for weeks, and I refused to look at myself in the mirror. My brother played with me and protected me from the rude people who looked at me and asked if I was disabled or something.

Isaak leaves in September. Who's gonna protect me then?