i'm not living this life;;

Current song playing: "Like A Knife" by Secondhand Serenade
Currently wearing: Plaid board short type things and a black tee shirt.
Current mood: Confused.

I'm thinking of bringing back the codenames. So far you've met these crushes: Superman and Batman - they went nowhere - and Wolverine. Wolverine was a confusing guy who I texted on Monday. I told him the truth, that I still liked him and wanted to know how he felt.

He never texted me back, but according to my phone, he received the text yesterday.

I cried last Sunday more than I'd ever cried before after he'd told me the truth, that his friend had stolen his phone and that everything he'd supposedly said wasn't true. That he didn't like me.

It was like a breakdown in my head. Hence the lack of real bloggage.

I never thought I'd say this, but my life is turning Twilight-y. Just the relationships, I mean. With Wolverine being Edward, I guess, since I met him and he was like totally perfect and he made me feel happy and without him I felt so sad and going deeper into my depression and I wanted myself to stop! but I couldn't.

My older brother does theater. His carpool to rehearsals and such is a boy I'll call Daredevil. Except in this case he'd be the Jacob. Because last week, the day before Wolverine supposedly asked me out, my brother told me Daredevil looooved me. I had just laughed and gone to get signatures with my friends.

Today I went to their cast party. I had meant to stay for a mere 30 minutes to mooch some food, say hi to some people, and then leave. But then I found a guitar and started playing and decided to stay.

Then my younger brother made me go outside with him cause we ended up hanging out since my older brother was with his theater friends. And so we went to the pool to annoy my older brother and my younger brother's best friend.

Daredevil was in the pool with his friend Luck and my younger brother's best friend. I don't know how it happened, but we suddenly waged a war by wacking each other with wet pool noodles. He was in swim trunks, so he was fine, but I was in regular, dry clothing. I was doomed.

After an hour of fighting (this was after a ton of other stuff, shyeahhh), it was time to go home. Seeing as Daredevil was part of my brother's usual carpool, his mom gave us a ride home. My younger brother sat up front, Barnacle boy sat in the back (he fell asleep, haha), and I sat squished between Mermaid Man and my older brother.

We argued over our schools and stuff, but then everyone started talking. Most people started falling asleep after tons of swimming. I stayed awake. Same with my older brother. He stared out the window and I stared at my phone, willing it to buzz.

Then my left side felt warm. Daredevil had fallen asleep. He had began to brush up against my side. He'd then slide toward the window and sleep there. At one point, he was resting his head on my shoulder.

Near the end of the car ride, I slowly inched away to get rid of any awkwardness. When the car stopped and my brothers and I hopped out, Daredevil seemingly woke up and grinned awkwardly at me.

Oddly enough, I hadn't thought of Wolverine all day until I got home.

Now I'm oh so confused.

Because I know that I could see myself with Wolverine in the future. Or anytime, really. Because he makes me happy and he gets me.

But I feel safe with Daredevil, and he makes me think of a right-now type of guy.

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